Death Before Dragons Bonus Scene: The Box

Welcome! This is a bonus scene with Val, Dimitri, and Sindari. Someone is getting in a box, but you’ll have to read on to see who it is.

The scene takes place after Storm Forged (Death Before Dragons Book 6) but there are only a couple of mentions of things that happened in Book 6, so you can read this before reading the novel if you like.

The Box

I was in my bedroom, attempting to obey my therapist’s suggestion to learn how to meditate, when the doorbell rang.

“Val, can you get that?” Dimitri hollered up from what sounded like the backyard.

“I’m meditating!” I hollered back from my cross-legged position on the floor, my headphones issuing binaural beats, theta waves, and who knew what other woo-woo noises to induce deep relaxation.

“I’m welding!”

“Is that more important than me reducing my stress and improving my health?”

“The last time I stopped in the middle, I almost caught the lawn on fire.”

“I guess that’s a yes.” I sighed, pulled out the headphones, and rolled to my feet.

So far, all I’d managed to do while meditating was put together a mental to-do list that included getting a Costco membership so I could buy meat for Zav in bulk and picking up new magical ammunition from Nin. I’d used a lot of mine during my adventure on the gnomish home world.

By the time I grabbed my sword—I always had to be ready for potential enemies at the door—and made it to the first floor, I half expected our visitor to be gone. But the living room window was open, so whoever was out there should have heard us hollering.

A delivery guy with a clipboard stood on the porch, wearing a puzzled expression as he peered around the yard. I peered around, too, wondering what had him confused. As far as I knew, Zav hadn’t put in the dragon topiaries he’d talked about yet.

“I have a delivery for Val Thorvald at this address, but, uhm, is that you, ma’am? They’re commercial appliances.”

“Oh, the smoker and the big fridge? Yeah, you can bring them in. We made room.”

His forehead creased. “Are you starting a restaurant? This is a residential area.”

“No. I just have a hungry…” I kept myself from saying mate, reminding myself that normal people didn’t use dragon terminology. “Boyfriend.”

“It’s a sixty-cubic-foot refrigerator, ma’am. People don’t usually get them for their houses.” He eyed the steps leading up to the covered porch, probably wondering how he would get it inside.

“A very hungry boyfriend.”

“Yes, ma’am. I just wanted to make sure this was the right place. I’ll grab my partner, and we’ll bring them in.” He trotted down the steps, waved to someone in the cab of a large truck parked in the middle of the street, and headed for the roll-up door in the back.

“Any chance that refrigerator is in a box?” I called, fingering the feline-shaped charm on the leather thong around my neck. For a long time, I’d wanted to see if Sindari, my seven-hundred-pound magical tiger, found cardboard boxes as appealing as mundane Earth cats. This could be my chance.

“Uh, the smoker is.”

“Is it big?”

“Everything I’ve got is big, ma’am.”

“Good to know.” I might have thought that was an innuendo, but his expression still suggested he was more puzzled by me than interested in me. “Bring it in with the appliances, will you?”

“The box?”

“Yup.”

His buddy had come out to help, and they exchanged long looks, then shrugged and climbed in the back of the truck.

I sensed Dimitri coming in the house and glanced back to make sure nothing was on fire. He wore a welding mask pushed up on his head, but he must have put his torch away before coming in.

“The smoker came?” he asked.

“It did.”

“Should I admit how excited I am about it?”

“Are you also a fan of ribs?”

“Who isn’t?”

“I haven’t seen Freysha eat anything that isn’t green. Hopefully, she won’t object to meat smells wafting up to her room at all hours of the day.”

“I’m sure she gets that it’s important to keep a huge, carnivorous dragon fed and happy.” Dimitri tilted his head as the delivery guy brought a giant box up the walkway. “I thought they took the appliances out of the boxes before bringing them in.”

“I requested that for a special occasion.” I waved for him to come inside and helped maneuver the giant cardboard box through the door. It took a lot of tilting and pushing. “Careful. Don’t damage it.”

“Usually, customers don’t want us to damage the appliances,” he said as we laid it the long way on the living room floor. One side had been cut open to remove the smoker. Perfect. “They care less about the boxes.”

“I’m a unique individual.”

Dimitri nodded his agreement when the guy looked at him. As if he could talk when he was wearing a welding mask in the living room.

“Show him where to put the appliances, will you, Dimitri?” I tapped my charm. “I’m going to set up a few things for a friend.”

“Sindari?” Dimitri recognized the cat charm. “I thought you only brought him out for battles.”

By now, the two men were using a hand truck and straps to maneuver the smoker through the house.

“Most of the time, yes. But as I said, this is a special occasion.” I opened the drawer on the little table where we threw our keys and the mail, and drew out a plastic baggie of dried green herbs.

“Is that from American Mary?” Dimitri asked.

“I don’t know what that is.”

“The pot store.”

“No, it’s from the pet store.” I opened the baggie and sprinkled copious amounts of catnip in the box. “It may serve a similar function. After smoking, do you ever feel compelled to roll on your back with your legs in the air and wriggle all around?”

“Oddly not. And I doubt Sindari will either.”

“You don’t think so?”

“He’s regal and majestic. He’s not going to get in a box and roll in catnip.”

“I’ve seen him roll in the grass on fertilizer. He’s a cat.”

“A regal and majestic cat,” Dimitri said.

“I see he’s got you trained to use his preferred terminology.”

“It seems wise to describe a massive predator with dagger-like fangs and claws exactly as he wishes.”

That earned us a few more quizzical looks as the guys passed back through the living room on their way to get the fridge.

“Sindari has mentioned before that he would never play with a box. Even if he’s hugely tempted, I doubt he’ll do it with witnesses in the room. I’ll have to set up a hidden camera.” I tapped a finger to my chin, pulled out my phone, and looked around for a potential place to mount it.

“You’ve discussed boxes with him before?”

“Of course. What did you think we chatted about?”

“Hunting down and slaying enemies.”

“You can only talk about that for so long before the conversation inevitably wanders to topics such as how horrible the air fresheners are that I get for my Jeep, how rude it is that my seats weren’t designed to accommodate tigers, and… boxes. I’ve showed him videos of tigers, lions, and other big cats in boxes. They’re all over the internet. Tons and tons of empirical data on the subject. Cats love boxes. It’s a proven fact.”

“Has anyone mentioned that you’re weird?”

“Only when I’m not holding my gun.”

Given that Dimitri had likely been welding recycled bicycle parts and mattress springs into garden art that only a troll could love, I refused to accept his judgment of me.

I climbed onto the back of the couch, rested my phone on a shelf in a bookcase, moved a tissue box to partially hide it, and tilted it so that it would focus on the box. After a few adjustments, I started the camera recording.

“Now I’m ready.”

The delivery guys had finished installing the refrigerator and one approached with a clipboard. Not saying anything about me standing on the couch, he handed me the clipboard to sign, then headed out. He did give me one last puzzled look before he closed the door. Someone else who thought I was weird.

“I can’t believe you’re setting a trap for him,” Dimitri said.

“It’s not a trap. I’m simply setting up a security camera for the living room. That’s a valuable box. If anything happens to it, I want to know about it.”

“I think he’s going to gnaw your foot off, whether you’re holding your gun or not.”

“Ha ha. Go back out and weld your masterpiece.” I didn’t want Dimitri spoiling my fun.

“You better cut him in if you put that on YouTube and make a fortune from ad revenue.”

“I don’t think advertisers pay big money to have their products displayed next to tigers in boxes.” I made a shooing motion at him, then rubbed the cat charm and silently summoned Sindari.

Dimitri shook his head as he left the room.

Mist appeared near the box, and my magical silver tiger ally solidified within it.

Have you called me forth to do battle, Val? His green eyes met mine. I do not sense any magical beings around, not even Lord Zavryd.

“He’s helping his uncle out on the gnomish home world for a couple of days. And I’m taking the afternoon off, so no battles, unless some irate ogres from the coffee shop come looking for me. But I want your opinion on something.”

Sindari sat on his haunches, his gaze shifting to take in the box, which was hard to miss given that it was larger than the couch and took up most of the floor space in the living room. His nostrils quivered as he contemplated the scent of the catnip.

Oh? Did he sound wary?

“I got a smoker so I can slow cook massive amounts of meat for Zav. It’ll be a lot less expensive than taking him to the barbecue restaurant every night. You’re a carnivore, right? I’d like your opinion on what kind of meat he’d be most excited by.”

Sindari walked closer to the box, peered inside, and sniffed liberally. His tail swished with interest, but then he seemed to catch himself and sat on his haunches and looked at me again. Why is there a box dusted with dried herbs in your domicile?

“The smoker came in it. I haven’t moved it outside yet. Zav really likes barbecued pork ribs, but I haven’t exposed him to a wide variety of Earth meats yet. Do you know what dragons in their native habitats prefer? Maybe there’s something here that’s similar to one of their favorites.”

I smiled as innocently as I could manage, though I suspected Sindari was already suspicious of this setup. He was as smart as any human, if not smarter. Any species that could do math without a written language or the ability to use a calculator was not to be underestimated.

Many dragons enjoy yankuur, a large scaled, tusked herbivore native to their home world. Since I cannot eat while I’m on your world, I do not know which meats may be similar.

“I’ll go look up tusked herbivores on the internet. Make yourself at home.”

I headed toward the kitchen, certain he would be overwhelmed by the awesomeness of the box once I was out of sight.

Maybe I shouldn’t have sneaked a glance back over my shoulder, but I couldn’t resist. He was sniffing the interior—or the delightful catnip scents wafting out of it—but he caught me looking and sat on his haunches again.

He pinned me with a cool gaze. I know what you’re doing.

What’s that? I kept walking, heading casually out to the backyard.

You have informed me before that cats on your world play with boxes. And I have told you that such antics are ridiculously silly and that a mature, superior apex predator from Del’Noth would never do something as foolish as that.

No? I guess I was unwise to try to tempt you.

Very much so.

Dimitri’s backyard project wasn’t made out of recycled bicycle parts but green street signs and—that looked suspiciously like the sides of our old refrigerator. How had he disassembled it so quickly?

The project had the shape of an evergreen tree in a pot, the latter made from bright yellow crosswalk signs. He was welding eyelets to the tips of the metal branches, presumably so he could attach the string of Christmas tree lights coiled on the patio table.

“It’s not even Labor Day yet.” I waved to the project, though his mask was down again, and he probably couldn’t see me. “Isn’t it early to make Christmas trees?”

“I’m going to put it in our shop so people can see it all fall and realize how badly they need to order one of their own.”

“For a mere three hundred dollars?”

“Six hundred plus a delivery fee. I’m going to enchant it.”

“To do what?”

“Guard presents.”

“Ah, yes. I hear that in-home gift thefts are on the rise worldwide.”

He lowered the blowtorch, pushed his mask up, and peered down at my feet. “He didn’t gnaw either of them off?”

Maybe I shouldn’t have told Dimitri how often Sindari threatened to do that.

“No, but you were right. He saw through my clever ploy.”

“Clever. Right.”

I looked toward the open back door. Since Sindari had figured out my ruse—I refused to call it a trap—I thought he might join us outside. But he didn’t, and he didn’t make any more telepathic comments. I still sensed him inside.

Maybe I was right, and the box—and catnip—were too intriguing, and he couldn’t help himself.

A thump drifted out of the house. From the living room?

Freysha was at Willard’s office today, so the only other person in the house was Zoltan in the basement, and the vampire never stirred during daylight hours if he could help it.

Another thump drifted out.

“Do you think that’s the sound of a massive tiger playing in a box?” I asked.

“It sounds more like a battle. You don’t sense any orc invaders, do you?”

“Just Sindari. He’s still in the living room.”

More thumps sounded. I was tempted to run in to catch him in the act, but I’d left the phone recording, so I should be getting footage of whatever he was doing.

A clatter followed the next thump.

Maybe there was a battle going on. I could only sense magical beings. It was possible random robbers had rushed in the front door to steal the smoker and the new fridge.

“He could be destroying the furniture in a vengeful fit,” Dimitri said.

“He wouldn’t do that.”

“I hope not. The Gamersac is my favorite thing in the house.”

“If that’s the ugly, gray beanbag in the corner, I wouldn’t mourn its loss.”

“It’s not ugly; it’s comfortable. And it’s Chinchilla Phur, not gray.”

“I can’t believe you think I’m the weird one.”

The noises coming from the living room stopped.

“Time to see what my phone captured.” I winked at Dimitri. “With video evidence, he won’t be able to deny that even regal Del’noth tigers are susceptible to the allure of boxes.”

“Val?” Dimitri asked as I headed inside.

“Yeah?” I paused in the doorway.

“You’re at least twice as weird as I am.”

I looked at his welding torch, his mask, and his soon-to-be-enchanted hodgepodge of tree-shaped metal and shook my head. “If that’s true, I’m deeply distressed.”

“If he destroyed the Gamersac, you owe me a new one.”

“I’m sure it’s fine.” It had better be. I refused to have Gamersac appear on my credit-card statement.

Whistling, I headed through the kitchen. The scent of catnip hung in the air, making me certain that he’d rolled in some.

When I walked into the living room, I found Sindari sitting on his haunches in the same position I’d left him in, except that his tail was swishing back and forth, and his eyes were almost bright enough to glow. The half-shredded box had been completely flattened and perforated with fang marks. Catnip was strewn everywhere, far more than I’d dusted in the box. The stuff covered the couch, the coffee table, the shelves, the Chinchilla Phur beanbag, and Sindari’s back. The plastic baggie I’d made the mistake of leaving on the table instead of returning to the drawer had also been shredded.

I pointed at it. “That was supposed to be enough to entertain six cats for an entire year.”

You left the windows open. A gust of wind blew in.

“A gust of wind destroyed a bag of catnip?”

And the box.

I propped my fist on my hip. “If you enjoyed yourself, you can just admit it. I’ll get you another box and some more catnip.”

Regal Del’noth tigers do not enjoy themselves by such inane means. What we enjoy is the hunt—stalking our prey and pouncing on it before it can escape.

“It looks like you stalked and pounced on the box.”

The wind did that.

“It’s completely flattened.”

It was a vigorous wind.

“And there are tooth marks.”

His eyes closed to slits. It was a vigorous, biting wind. A tremendous squall. You are fortunate it did not damage more of your house.

“Are you seriously not going to admit that you chewed up and rolled all over that box, enjoyed the heck out of the catnip, and are even now as high as a kite?”

I am not. Sindari rose to his feet. And since you do not need me for a battle, I will now return to my realm.

“Fine, fine, go ahead.”

As he faded from our world, I headed for the bookcase where I had set up my phone. Little did he know that I had recorded the whole thing. A biting wind, my ass.

But when I looked into the bookcase, my shoulders slumped. My phone had been knocked over and lay facedown on the shelf, with a tiny pile of silver tiger fur and three pieces of catnip on top.

The floorboards creaked as Dimitri walked into the living room. “Damn. That’s a lot of catnip.” He walked to the bookcase and peered over my shoulder.

I pointed at the little pile of fur. “Do you think that was an accident or it’s a message?”

“Oh, that’s a message.”

“That he enjoyed the catnip and the box but didn’t appreciate my ruse?”

“That you’re weird.”

“Hm.”

~

Other bonus extras from the Death Before Dragons series:

• An interview with Colonel Willard
• An interview with Sindari
• Bonus scene: “Yeah, Relaxingly”
• Free novelette: The Forbidden Ground